there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
