"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
