So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
