Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
