Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
