I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
