sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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