I look better un-naked...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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