I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
