Do you still have your period?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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