her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
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