Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize