1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
