I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
