I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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