You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
