new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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