Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
