So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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