So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
