well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
