Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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