i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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