When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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