you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
