Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
