Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize