i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
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He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
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Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize