Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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