they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
