Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize