I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
