drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
