wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
