Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
