I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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