i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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