the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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