Im at strip club and am horny
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
