i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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