True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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