you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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