and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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