why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
