Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
