so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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