ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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