So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
sex in a hospital.. check
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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