I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
