is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
