i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
