I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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