She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
