Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize