Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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