The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
where am i from again
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
