ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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