Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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