you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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