For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
