I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
