The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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