Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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