so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When are your genitals available?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
