If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
