you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
