btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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