Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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